Harry Potter and the um what?
by Tycad
Summary: Just a little ditty about Harry if he discovered the chronic. Rated T for drug use, obviously. Stoner!Harry. I might even make a story out of it if people like it. Also, I doubt I need to say it, but if you're the "Reefer Madness" type, then I don't think you'll like this.


Harry Potter slowly awoke from his deep sleep. He had gone to bed quite early so he wasn't surprised to see that it was 3:34 in the morning. Still much too early for anyone in the unassuming houses of Private Drive to be awake. Harry turned onto his side and took his glasses from the nightstand next to his bed and put them on. After letting his eyes adjust, Harry got out of bed and shuffled over to his dresser.

"Well, I've got nothing to do and everyone won't be awake for hours. It's that time again." Thought the young wizard.

Harry riffed through his sock drawer, pulling out many magical doo-dads and knick-knacks that he thought better than to leave in plain sight for the Durselys to promptly get rid of or destroy. But Harry wasn't interested in all of those things at this moment. He was after something else. After another minute, Harry found his prize.

Harry pulled a small plastic baggy from his sock drawer. He looked at it for a moment, then opened the bag up and inhaled the sweetly stinky aroma that rose from it. Harry knew that this substance, this "weed" was illegal in the Muggle world, but frankly, living with his aunt and uncle and cousin had taken a toll on Harry's patience. Plus, Harry had done all the research he could on the plant. As far as he saw and as far as he noticed in his own well being, there seemed to be very few if any negative side effects.

Harry set the bag onto his bed and then reached under his bed for his bong and grinder. He took two of the smaller nugs in the bag and stuck them insider the grinder. After several twisting motions, Harry emptied the contents of the grinder onto The Standard Book of Spells. Grade 1. He was way beyond that level of education, so the only real use for the book at this point was a rolling table. Harry packed his bong as tight as he could without compromising the airflow through the stem to the water.

"Oh wait, I haven't any water." Harry thought to himself.

Harry then took his wand from under his bed. Harry tapped the base of his bong.

"Aguamenti."

Right as Harry said that, the bongs base filled with crystal-clear, pure water. He then tapped the underside of the bong and uttered another spell.

"Glacius."

At that moment, ice cubes formed in the water. Harry smiled. Magic truly is a stoners best friend. With a small flick of his wrist, Harry muttered.

"Incendio."

A small flame ignited itself at the end of Harry's wand. Harry placed the tip of his wand just above the bowl.

"Blast off…" Harry thought to himself as he sucked the milky smoke into his lungs. The ice cold water made the hit extremely smooth, almost like he was breathing air. Harry inhaled until his lungs were at capacity. He held the smoke in while holding back the urge to cough. After six seconds, he released the smoke in a thick cloud. Harry could feel himself starting to get stoned. He felt his limbs and eyelids get heavier. He started smiling for no reason as he took a second hit from his trusty bong.

Harry had barely let the smoke pass out of his lungs when he realized his window was closed. Harry slowly got up and opened his window. He sat down at his desk and placed the bong on top of it. The last thing he needed was any of the Dursleys walking in and seeing or smelling pot. His aunt and uncle would have his head on a stake no doubt, and Dudley would probably raid his stash afterward. Harry gave his wand another flick and a tiny flame once again protruded from the tip. Harry made sure this next hit was a ripper. So much so that it gave him a large coughing fit, this in turn got him even more stoned.

After several bong packs, Harry was feeling good all over his body. This particular weed was a strong indica, so all Harry wanted to do was lay in his bed and think. Harry got up from his desk, took his bong and went back to his bed. The room had sufficiently aired out so he doubted that he would be caught because of the smell if he took his toking away from the window.

Harry felt guilty about taking so much pleasure out of getting baked. He knew all about what people say about it and people who enjoy it. Blah blah blah "It makes you lazy." Blah blah bah "Gateway drug." Harry had been doing this for a couple of years now and not only had he maintained satisfactory marks in all of his classes at Hogwarts, but not once did he feel the urge to down a 40 ounce or snort an 8-ball while he was taking snappers out of his bong. Harry knew it wasn't that bad, he had experienced that for himself, but he still felt shallow because he felt so happy and content just because of this curious little plant.

Harry was very much in his zone so he emptied the bong of its water out of the window. He then took his school trunk and placed his bong and the baggy inside along with all his school things. The teachers and staff at Hogwarts rarely searched them and Harry knew this so smuggling his herb and piece inside the school shouldn't be a problem. Harry knew that whether or not this weed was legal in the wizarding world, it was likely prohibited on school grounds so Harry made sure to be extra careful and pack the bong and baggy underneath his clothes.

Harry shut his trunk and placed it next to his bedroom door. He then retreated back to his bed, sleep sounding like a more extraordinary idea with each passing second. (Which due to the weed, each passing second felt like a minute) Harry was leaving for Hogwarts in the morning and he knew the more restful his sleep, the fresher he would be. As his consciousness faded, Harry briefly thought

"I need to get Ron and Hermione into this…"


End file.
